Daniel

Well, 3 weeks in Amsterdam and I've fallen in love.

He takes me on long journeys down by the canals.

His slender frame is a thing of beauty.

Sure he's been around the block a few times but I don't mind.

And he does make a lot of noise but at least that lets people know when he's coming.

His name is Daniel - my new bike.

The getting of a bike in Amsterdam really provokes quite the moral dilemma.

Second hand bikes are readily for sale in markets to the tune of 100 - 150 Euro and similar prices can be found on Craigslist.

But the real cost saver seems to be just to buy a second hand bike off a junkie. You can easily nab a bike this way for 10 - 30 Euro. One girl I know paid 40 Euro for her bike which she admitted was expensive but she said that junkie offers a great service. You text him if you don't have a bike and he calls you back when he's found/stolen a bike and brings it to you. I asked if you could get him to pick up a pizza and a DVD on his way but apparently that costs extra. Just because he's a down and out smackwhore doesn't mean you can treat him like a slave I guess. Kudos smackwhore! You stick to those guns come the winter months.

So for the traveller on a budget, it seems buying a bike off a junkie is the way to go.

Naturally it's illegal but the Dutch police are hardly known for their stringent enforcement of laws that provoke moral debates.

I was considering getting a junkie bike for the main reason that I don't have a great deal of cash plus bike theft in Amsterdam is rampant and I figured I'd be a whole lot less upset if I discovered my 10 Euro bike was stolen at 3am on a Sunday than if it were a 100 Euro bike.

It's also one of the few times that I think the whole socialist approach to possessions can really work a treat. If everyone did it, nobody would get ripped off. Everyone could just buy a 10 Euro bike and if it gets stolen, buy another. And junkies could fill themselves up to the brim with junk knowing there will always be demand for their services. What a wonderful world it could be! It's kind of like Ellen DeGeneres' belief that there are only 100 umbrellas in the world and they belong to us as a community. If we see one we take it and eventually we put it down and somebody else takes it. And nobody wants to be stuck with the red one.

But then of course some locals did point out the sad reality that not everyone has bought into this system yet so for the time being there would be some real losers in this situation - those who had saved up to buy reliable bikes that don't screech like a gathering of banshees when you apply the brakes as well as the junkies forced to live a life of crime. So, until everyone agrees to the socialist biking system, you're really giving your karma a Hot Richard.

So I tracked down a reliable second hand bike dealer and forked out 80 Euro for a bike which included all the bells and whistles. Well no whistles but a bell, a light and a lock. Plus he'll buy it back off me when I leave. "If you still have it then," a cynical local commented. "Your mother sucks c**** in Hell," I replied.

I gave my bike the name Daniel (after the Bat For Lashes song I'm listening to constantly) and I ride it every opportunity I get. I'm glad I went the honest approach for my bike, though a part of me is sad that some junkie out of there went without his fix because I insisted upon not compromising my Christianity. But rest assured, if somebody steals Daniel off me, I'll be texting that junkie within seconds asking for a 4 speeder with a basket, the latest season of Dexter and hold the anchovies.

It's amazing how quickly you can become one of those self righteous Dutch cyclist who tuts at the tourists for daring to step onto the bike path without checking both directions first. And cyclists here certainly have adopted that Cambodian approach to driving - believe in yourself and you can achieve anything. I asked somebody if there were actually any road rules for bikers and he assured me there were but over time cyclist have had to evolve to take drunk Italian tourists into consideration so things are pretty much in a state of perfectly organised chaos.

I haven't quite adopted the whole "you can do anything on a bike" philosophy that it so prevalent here. The most common things you'll see on a bike are:

1. Riding while holding up an umbrella
2. Riding while talking on your mobile
3. Riding while humming Des'ree's Greatest Hits
4. Dinks
5. Riding while having a coffee

I'm pretty sure I saw somebody applying mascara as well while she pedaled her way down Kerkstraat the other day.

I hope as the weather clears up, people get a bit more bold and try a few more ambitious things on their bikes. How about a nice game of Connect 4? Eating a bowl of spaghetti? A re-enactment of the climax of E.T? Come on Amsterdam - don't let me down!

And when I get back to Melbourne, I'm heading straight to VideoBusters Smith St and suggesting they add the bike racket to their wonderfully morally ambiguous approach to retail.