That's Not My Name

Well the Berlinale Talent Campus is almost coming to a close. For those of you who don't know, the Berlinale Talent Campus is run by the Berlin Film Festival and it brings together 350 filmmakers from 120 countries to get together and discuss film and art in the hope of building networks, co productions and inspiring us to change the world through film. So it's a crazy busy week filled with talking, meeting, talking, listening, talking, eating and some more talking. I noticed people tend to form alliances based on language and hair length. The actors are all insane and the production designers all dress wacky. I networked and schmoozed with all my might, even though Swedish cinematographers and Bosnian production designers are about as useful to me as the proverbial tits on a bull but who knows what the future might hold? Naturally everyone gets each other mixed up (as you do when you meet 350 in one week) and I've been given about 20 different names, nationalities and occupations during my time here. Somebody described me as that filmmaker who makes films about children finding condoms in toilets which I guess is kind of true if you were to combine all my films and add a condom I guess.

The talks certainly did inspire and the gears in my head are clicking away. Tilda Swinton did nothing to quell our fears of her by answering the question "what did people dream about before cinema?" by discussing why she's a Communist. Nice one, Tilda. I was able to have a chat with Janusz Kaminski (cinematographer of Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan, The Diving Bell & The Butterfly) over breakfast and he was particularly inspiring. Those of you who have seen me eat, particularly in the morning when I'm that extra bit hungrier than usual, will join me in the belief that Janusz probably got as much out of our encounter as I did. Willem Dafoe answered my question about working with David Lynch on Wild At Heart by saying that Lynch prepared Dafoe and Laura Dern for the infamous "fuck me" scene at the motel by explaining that the scene had to go from green to brown. Well that's all you need really, isn't it?

So all in all - a very productive week. New friends, inspiration and a few films on the side. Suits me.

Plus Berlin is an amazing city, even though we're all freezing our giblets off as we run from theatre to theatre. And there's so much to love here, for example:

- The architecture. Fans of grey, brown and poured concrete will particularly feel at home. As I walk through the streets of Berlin, I can't help but get the feeling that the architect of the (sadly) now demolished Gas & Fuel Towers on Flinders Street would have gazed at the buildings around here exclaiming "Yes! Yes! YES! This is how life should look!"

- The drag queen who shot glitter guns at the crowd while performing "Because The Night". It wasn't that so much. It was more that they aimed it at our faces. They obviously mixed up their Patti Smith songs and meant to perform "Glitter In Their Eyes".

- They sell lemon Russkies on the train platforms. What? A fella can get thirsty, can't he??

- Lady Gaga clears dance floors here. Bite the big one, Gaga!

- Their support of Sarah Connor. Not the heroine from Terminator but the local pop star (though I must admit I'd love to see them combined. That final speech for Terminator 2 is just DYING to be played over some psy fi trance beats). She did have a single released in Australia, One Nite Stand (Of Wolves & Sheep), but it sank without a trace. Maybe because wolves and sheep are the last 2 things anybody wants to be thinking of when they have a one nite (sic) stand. But Germany stand by their own, except when they're Nena, and Sarah still tops the charts here and is plastered over many a billboard. Kudos Sarah!

- The public transport system. Say what you like about them invading Poland but you can't criticise their efficient, easy to use transportation Take a tip, Connex. The only downside was one evening when I needed to catch a taxi. I had been to see Cleopatra in the Berlinale 70mm Retrospective and unfortunately the festival had decided that 4 hours simply wasn't enough bang for our buck and had added an extra 20 minute musical interlude in the middle of the film. So by the time we crawled out of that cinema at 1.30 in the morning, after an unpleasant moment of me screaming "somebody throw that woman an asp and let's get the fuck out of here", the trains had already stopped. So I caught a taxi. Now he gave me a hell of a lot of attitude which I thought was odd considering as I had even spoken German and everything (look at the good I do!) but when he dropped me off I realised the trip was only 5 blocks, I could understand his frustration. But I will say in my defense that it was 1.30 in the morning, it was snowing and I had no idea where in the hell I was. Oh well!

I leave for Amsterdam on Monday. I'm spending the weekend seeing films and performing karaoke. Just try and stop me, Berlin!